Just a Mom: TRUTH

My mom is back to share her last rule of my parent's home. Tell the Truth.. This was ingrained into my mind.. I was a little story teller and I challenged my mom a lot in this area when I was young. I learned the hard way many times and now its one of the most important things in my life as a mom, wife and business owner.. Honesty..

{ Tritia makes fun of me all the time but this hair cut was very stylish then!!}

The Third Rule ---Tell the Truth

Why is it that we all struggle with telling the complete truth.  Probably  because we all know we are then responsible for our actions.  Fostering truth telling is an art as a parent.  The first step is that we always have to tell the truth ourselves.  Yikes! That's a little hard to swallow but we can't walk a different path then we are asking our children.

This may be to much information.. But I'm a too much information gal. I can vividly remember one time being at the mall around a lot of people and accidentally passing gas ( as we all do ladies) .  Of course I said, “Todd (my son) don’t do that."  WELL you know what the truth telling child said loudly,  "That wasn’t me that was you MOM."  Embarrassing, yes, but the Truth correct?? 

Tritia always was trying to help others as a young girl.  Once in second grade they needed ice cream for some party.  She proudly announced that her DAD had a ice cream business..  Well that was a long stretch of the truth.   It was a great lesson for her when the school called and asked for ice cream.  Poor kid, she had to go to school and face her teacher with the truth. This is a perfect example that even lying with a good intention never works out.

As parents we must emanate truth at all costs.  There is no option for us or our kids. WE always told our kids if they told the truth no punishment.  Especially, when something happened in school and we heard it from them first and not from others.  Knowing that they always can come to you honestly without punishment fosters open communication with trust.

Unfortunately, telling the truth is learned, lying comes natural.  Take the time to reward telling the truth at a very young age.  We always had even at a young age a no tolerance rule for lying.  Don’t think it was easy at times but explanation of the value of truth really pays off later.  We as a family need to know that we can all trust each other.

Plain and simple “Truth Reigns and the Truth Will Set You Free”...

Love,
Lexy

Thanks mom! A good reminder for us all as we are fostering our children to grown into honest adults. I certainly appreciated it in my own life.
 

Just A Mom: OBEDIENCE

My mom is back once again explaining her second rule of her house that she taught us as kids. I soaked all of this information up for my kids and ironically needed it just today with precious little Finley...

{OK- Well she wasn't always obedient!!}

OBEDIENCE: Rule #2

Who wants to obey rules?? There is just something about rules that makes some of us think they are to break.. There are others that the very thought of breaking a rule goes against everything we know. Webster defines obedience as willing to obey or carry out orders. The key is to help our kids develop willingness! Once they begin to understand the reward from obeying rules they will respond. It's important to reward good behavior by creating reward systems. A good old sticker chart is an easy solution for any reward system and it WORKS!! Tritia uses the sticker chart with Caden for school and it works like a charm but you can also get creative!! One idea  is to create a jar with a saying or scripture verse on it that reminds your child of why they are earning the reward. I would have them sign it like a contract so that they can remember they agreed to the terms! Give a quarter for good behavior earned and take away a quarter for bad behavior. At the end of the week, they have earned the money and can do what they want with it.

{BORN FABULOUS}

Teaching a child obedience is developing a confidence and a skill for them to say no in peer pressure situations. The words because I am your MOM OR DAD just doesn't create a willingness. A freedom is created when your child is obedient on their own, knowing that there is a consequence other than just disappointing Mom and Dad. Teach your children that you can be trusted to have their best interests at heart. If you have created a standard that your children and their friends understand, when they are teenagers it is a powerful protection for them. Lots of children have found themselves doing something they would have never considered because they were never taught the skill of saying NO. The benefit of saying NO to them now teaches them the benefits of saying NO to wrong paths later. I know this sounds a little harsh but it will prove a freedom in your household that you will cherish. Tough love now means SLEEP for you later when teenagers are running around! Who knows anyone who gets all they want or should I say who wants to know them??

Love,
Lexy

I hope you took to heart these words. I know I felt encouraged to continue my journey as a parent teaching my children the importance of obedience. Thanks mom!!

Just a Mom: Respect

{Tritia age 2}

Another post from my mom on teaching your kids respect in your home...

Three Rules of Our Home

You would think by looking at Tritia's little face in the picture above that she was as easy as pie when she was a  toddler. She was a sweet little girl but those of you that know her know that there is some fire in there too! My next couple of posts will share with you some of the parenting tips I used to help guide her to be the woman she is today. I hope they encourage you in your walk this week as a mom.
As parents, we only had three rules that were the core of our parenting beliefs. They helped us not have to make lists of do’s and don’ts.  We found every situation where questionable behavior is displayed, one of these rules will fit. Steve used to do pop quizs with the kids to see who could repeat them the fastest for fun. I believe these rules were written in their hearts not just in their minds and they apply to their lives now as they are parents.

The three rules are:
1) Respect
2) Obedience
3) Tell the Truth.

RESPECT

Respect is defined in Webster’s as to feel or show honor, or to show consideration.  This is a quality that makes any parent proud.  Demonstrating this quality creates esteem and for them to be respected by others.  If there is respect in the home, they will carry that into school, work and all areas of there life. We tried very hard to never take the side of our child over any adult especially until we knew the entire circumstance.  It is so easy to break down the quality of respect.  WE all need to learn and understand that we are put in situations that we have to respect or honor someone just because of position even if its not fair or right.  WE always allowed them to discuss situations at home but never let the root of disrespect to develop. Begin to develop the attitude of respect.  Talk about it, implant it in there minds and explain it over and over. 

Respect isn’t just towards people it can be taught towards possessions.  Starting at a very young age, children need to be taught to be thankful and take care of their things.  Teach then how hard you work for things as a family and how they are so blessed.  I love it that Caden (Tritia's son) now knows to pray for customers to come in so that he can get a toy or go to lunch. He is understanding that we work for things in life and seeing the value of what Tritia is doing everyday. He is learning to be respectful of her work. There is nothing wrong with saying no or making them wait or earn rewards. I love to spoil my kids but it is also my responsibility to teach them value and appreciation.  I always told Todd and Tritia that life wasn't fair and that our family didn't act as other families. We had a high expectation because much is expected to much is given.  I believe once they learn this important lesson they will be so much happier in life and so much more willing to help others around them. My prayers are with you on this journey of motherhood...

Love,
Lexy

These lessons my mom shared with you were so valuable to my life. I have begun to teach them to Finley and Caden. Its a daily struggle but I will face the challenge!!

Just a Mom: The Miracle that Happens Every Moment

{ Caden napping in the store at 2 months}

Here is a fun post from my mom on the Miracle of Motherhood..

I have been working with Tritia for eight years now and looking back there is a central theme to our client's first visit to the store after their baby is born.  The first three months is a shocker.

Yes, that is the truth.  No amount of preparation, reading or thought can completely prepare you for motherhood. There is no other way to put it or escape how shocking the experience of having another human being to be responsible for other than yourself.  It is mind boggling! But on the positive side, it is the most incredible experience of life.  Why else would anyone have ever have another baby? The following tips may help you manage the change a little easier.

1. If you are so lucky to have family support, take it.  Don’t be a champion.  The first three days you are on a high but will soon hit the wall of tiredness.  A week of help is wonderful to get you on your feet and help you establish a routine.
2. Remember you are the MOM not the baby.  There is something empowering making your mind up that you are in charge.  Somehow these little beings can sense relaxed control.  Take a step back and don’t be afraid to let them cry a little. Tritia called me in a panic when Caden was 1 month old and said he wouldn't go to sleep and she just needed to take a shower. He wouldn't stop crying and she didn't know what to do. That is the first time I told her YOU ARE THE MOM. Set him down in the crib and let him cry for 10 minutes and take a shower. He will be fine! I could hear the relief in her voice to get the permission she needed to parent. Its invigorating to take some of the control back!
3. Read some books but you have to find your own technique and rules that work for you.  Every Mom parents with different style.  Try not to compare.  All babies aren’t the same. There is not an equation that works equally for every child.
4. The new technique of feed, play ,then laying the baby down to fall asleep on their own works. I can remember rocking my first born, Tritia for hours to get her to sleep.  My second I didn't have time and he figured it out much faster.
5. If you are nursing, pump milk.  It will do you a world of good if you can get a way for a couple hours.  At least to have dinner out or even go to the grocery store without the anxiety of worrying about the baby.   A dinner out with your husband will do wonders for all. I always felt I was a better mother with a little R and R.
6. Lastly remember even though it seems like forever this will pass so quickly. Take lots of pictures squeeze them tight because before you know it they will be talking and yes walking. Mom's are always concerned that their children are behind.  My line is you never see a mute adult still crawling around.   

Love,
Lexy 
I hope you enjoyed my mom's words of wisdom. She often gets to walk mother's through this very thing in our store. I am very lucky that she is a phone call a way or right here for me to ask during my moments of parenting panic still!! Until next time!

Just a Mom by Lexy

{Tritia age 5}

So excited that my mom will be writing several posts a month about our relationship and encouraging all of us out there who are moms!!

GUEST WRITER:  Alexis Burns ( My MOM)

Look at her, from the age of five or earlier she had a flair for fashion. She loved dress up and designing outfits for her Barbie's to model. Her favorite purchase was tissue paper. She could spend hours cutting designs out and displaying them for me to see. 

We always talked about someday working together in our own store. Her dad would always say that it would happen one day. When Tritia married a boy from Houston after college, I thought for sure that dream was over. I didn't know then that she would move back in 4 years and we would begin the adventure. Her career led us to children's interior design instead of fashion which was surprising by exciting!

We began to plan the store eight hour a day for six months. I will always treasure those hours of decisions and excitement. We laughed, we prayed, and we developed what later became Beach Bungalow Designs.

It is really a mothers joy to see her child not only be gifted in a exceptionally creative way but to watch her be so caring towards her clients. Tritia's true gift is giving to others through her talent. I have watched in amazement at her strength of character and willingness to serve others. Yes, it is her business, but her purpose is far beyond monetary.  She thrives on creation but loves spending hours talking to pregnant moms making them feel like they will succeed with their children.

I don't know what more a mother could ask for... and I have the privilege of  watching each day....

Lexy

Special thanks to my mom for sharing her thoughts on our relationship. Its so special to be able to work with your best friend everyday and her help is irreplaceable. I'm so thankful! Many more fun posts from Lexy to come!!